Are you building walls saying NO? Ready for YES?

 
Are your thoughts creating wall and barriers preventing you from experiencing more of life?

Mine were!

Does this sound like you? A friend calls you up or texts with a suggestion to go out for lunch. You pause! Your mind is frantically searching for the right answer. Should I go, shouldn’t I? If I don’t go what excuse can I use? I have so much to do right now. I don’t know! I have to pick up the kids? The litany goes on.

I know this all too well. I went for a period when I built walls around myself and fended off almost all invitations, making up all sorts of reasons why I didn’t want to or I couldn’t. Often after I turned down an invitation I would spend hours thinking that maybe I was missing out, maybe I should have gone, why didn’t I say yes.

Ah, the thought games we play!

When I realized I sitting home alone far too often and was receiving fewer and fewer invitations even to me my excuses sounded lame. I decided ENOUGH.

I saw that it was only my thoughts stopping me from enjoying life, friends, family and new experiences.

I was thinking myself into a lonely secluded life surrounded by 4 walls and no new stimulus. Did I really want this? NO!

Once I knew that I had to change my thoughts in order to change my life I decided to start saying, “YES”. I did it in little steps. That was easy because I wasn’t getting very many invitations.

I accepted the first invitation that came my way. I went to a movie with a friend. More invitations came as I continued to say YES. To begin with I accepted all invitations just to practice saying Yes, then I became more selective.

When I did consider saying NO to an invitation, I would pay attention to the thoughts and feelings around the no. Why was I saying no? Was it something I really did not want to do or go to OR was I just building walls again?

Saying, “Yes” has brought back more joy, curiosity and people into my life. My life is richer from the giving and sharing that has ensued.

In our busy lives we don’t often realize that we have been constantly declining invitations and limiting our experience of life. It is so easy to fall into a rut of sameness. When you ask someone what they have been up to, how often to get the reply, “You know, same old same old.”
Is that your answer?

Perhaps it is time to turn that NO into a YES and see where it takes you. You might find that you have more energy, more joy, and yes, even more time to get things done.

Take the challenge and give yourself permission to say YES and see what happens.

Is this my dream?

You sit, hands clasped around a cup tea, staring out the window and wonder what happened. Is this really your dream life?

You went to college, landed a great job, got married, had kids, have all the outer trappings of material success, BUT feel empty.

You did what your family and society expected of you. You did what everyone else was doing. Was it right or wrong? Neither, it just was.

You made those choices based on who you were and what you knew at that moment. They were the best decisions for that time.

Now you are living this dream.

There was a time, I too sat starring out the window wondering if this was all life had to offer. Then I became aware that my life was my dream, my choice and it had been perfect for me.

Mine dream included university, a short marriage, no kids, a 25 year career as an educator, a life of constant change and movement, no permanent fix address and sense of adventure that leads me on. This was my dream and it was/is right for me.

The choices I made gave me some fantastic experiences from which to grow. Once I realized that, it became clear that going forward I had the opportunity to make new choices thus new dreams.

I looked around and noticed other people’s dreams. Looking at them I realized I couldn’t live their dreams, as they probably couldn’t live mine.

So, as you sit there sipping your tea and looking out the window, reflect on your life choices up to now. Look at how they are a reflection of the authentic you. Note all the ways they helped you to grow and arrive at this moment in your life.

Take a look around and if the dream that you have create up to this moment doesn’t quite fit any more, it might be time to choose something different.

What is the one thing you could easily change to begin the journey to a new life, a new dream? Take some small steps, feel them out, if it feels right keep moving, question any resistance that comes up – what is it about?

BE gentle with yourself and remember to celebrate any action you take toward your new dream.

Life is your dream and change is only one thought away. Only you can change the thought and take the steps.

What is your new dream and where will it lead?