I notice at the end of the year I was in a very low place. I was tired, grumpy, unhappy and overall miserable. Intuitively, I knew that something had to change. But as often happens when we are operating from our thinking rather than from the spacing between the thinking, we feel that we can’t make a decision.
For me it was no different, I played around with different scenarios. I batted around the pros and cons. I stirred up financial insecurities. I even played the “what if” game.
An interesting aspect of all of this, is that I was bouncing between tired and miserable versus loving what I was doing and enjoying it. I was actually watching myself fluctuate between the highs and lows of my thinking.
About the same time I was introduced to Michael A. Singer’s book The Surrender Experiment where he shares his experiment of surrendering to the flow of life. As the saying goes, when a student is ready the teacher shows up. I feel that this was the case with Michael Singer’s book.
After a particularly difficult week where I reached an all-time low, I decided to stop trying to figure it out and let the universe show me what needed to happen.
I had to get myself out of the way.
I verbally made a declaration to the Universal wisdom that I was ready for change and that I was handing everything over for ‘It’ to figure out.
I was not longer going to try to control the situation and I was open to whatever flowed my way, even if that meant continuing to do the same thing.
The moment I did that I felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.
Almost instantly my mood shifted to one of expectation and excitement. Nothing had changed with my situation but, my thinking around the situation had changed.
I began the New Year in exactly the same position I was in at the end of December. My days were very full and I was still juggling many responsibilities.
Two weeks into the new year I attended a holistic networking meeting and came away with a renewed sense of what I wanted to be doing. As I drove home that evening I wondered where I would find the hours to pursue these new opportunities. These thoughts appeared briefly and then moved on.
I was not longer in control.
The next morning I received a text message from a colleague asking me to contact her as soon as possible. I called my colleague and in her words I received my answer from the universe. Due to some changes within our organization, I was going to have to give up some of my responsibilities. I had two weeks within which to make a decision.
I would never have dreamed of this scenario.
In an instant, I knew what my decision was going to be. Later that afternoon, I had a meeting with our director where I indicated what I was ready to let go.
Within the next couple of weeks several things in my life shifted and new opportunities presented themselves. The moment I let go of my thinking blockade and stepped back into the flow of life the path cleared for new opportunities to present themselves.
In the past this process would have been a huge drama with much agonizing, analyzing and discussing. I used to think I had to make things work and know what was best for me. Now I know that if I am in a low state of mind I am caught up in thinking and that I can let those thoughts go which creates space new fresh ideas.
Do you find your self agonizing over decisions and losing sleep over them? Would you like to have clarity of thought? If you answered yes to either questions send me a message and we talk about your options.