Have you ever walked into situations with preconceived idea of what it should be like?
Perhaps you went on that dream vacation only to discover it didn’t live up to your dream image. Maybe you’ve had a difficult time with a certain type of person. Then every time you came upon that type person, you instantly knew what you were going to face. Or you encountered a particularly trying time at work and now you are constantly on the look-out for it to rear up again.
I too had a long list of like/don’t like, acceptable/unacceptable, not my type or here we go again. Until, I discovered that each one of these labels was restricting my experiences.
I was letting past experiences, personal biases and outdated beliefs rule my thoughts, as a result they were blocking me from enjoying or gaining from each new situation. These preconceived thoughts kept me in a vicious emotional trap.
It was very difficult to enjoy someone or something if you are always on the look-out for what could go wrong, get screwed-up or live up to your expectations.
In reality you can change this pattern by understanding that you are just living your thoughts.
Yes, that is right! All those justifications, opinions and adjectives are just thoughts. They have nothing to do with the person, thing or event.
Let’s take a person for example, a person is a body. It only becomes more than a body when we dress it up with our thoughts. Confused?
That person only acquires a personality or identity when we give them one. They become a mother, father, brother, daughter, friend or enemy when we think of the word form. Next, we add qualities kind, helpful, self-centred, difficult or generous. None of these identities or qualities are real, they are only thoughts. The only apparent reality is, they are a body.
We see a person our thoughts begin to create and before we know our enemy is before us! The person maybe before us but the enemy is only a thought. It is only our thinking and our perceptions that create the attributes.
We are human beings who believe it’s the world around us causing us so much pain when in actuality it’s our thoughts about situations,events and people that cause our pain.
Understanding that I was causing my own pain was big “AH” moment! I started to watch my thoughts. I didn’t try to change them, fix or adjust them!
Please don’t try or you will end up in another vicious thought cycle leading no where.
All you have to do is notice them for what they are – thoughts. By themselves they have no power. They only gain power when we give them power when we encourage them. Left alone they just fade way.
Look at something or someone in the next few days and notice your thoughts around them. Pay attention to what happens when you stop thinking about them.